A better lover? Better than what? To whom?
Like all things Tao, the cultivation of the self affects those who come in contact with that enlightened self. A woman who knows herself, is open, honest, and loves herself brings something passionate and clean to a relationship. She becomes a magnet for what she believes to be true; and if her truth is that sexual intimacy is healthy, beautiful and accessible, then she will attract a partner who validates this. In this respect, intimacy is like dipping the toe in the water to test how we are doing. Water seeks its own level.
Most men will agree that the worst type of lover is the type who “just lays there”. For most men, a woman who has cultivated a high level of self-expression and sexual freedom is quite enticing. The Chi emitted from these open Yin women is like an elixir, which many men will want to taste.
Master Chia now has many books on sex, sexuality, and the cultivation, refinement, circulation and storage of sexual energy. Beyond this, volumes have been written on sex and sexuality. At the core of these texts is Self Cultivation. Master your own Chi, master your ability to love, open your heart and feel connection to humanity. Being a good lover means not only being sensitive to your partner, but also becoming sensitive to yourself.
As women, we must learn to watch who we attract and who we are attracted to, for these people are the mirrors of ourselves and will show us what we hold in our heart. If we attract people who we do not feel safe with, on some level we shut them out. Again, water seeks its own level, so if your partner is closed to you, stop complaining about them and start looking at why you are in a relationship with such thick barriers. Barriers prohibit true intimacy, and without this intimacy the partial connection which is left reflects only a piece of what is possible.
So, on the pages for men, perhaps they will share more “technique”. This is good and as women we most certainly approve, especially if these techniques will help the gentlemen to become more focused on their intimate partner. But here, in these pages for women, we suggest the path of Yin, or Water.
Use your Jade Egg Exercises to get in touch with yourself and feel the strength of femininity. Learn Inner Smile and transform negative emotional imbalances. Practice the MicroCosmic Orbit and circulate and refine your Chi.
Relax. Smile to your body. Open your heart and smile gently to it. Trust; in your self first. Allow the feelings of love and compassion to flow from the heart and affect every cell in your body. Experience this bliss and allow this sensation to become a part of you. The rest will take care of itself.
Nothing in the world is softer and more supple than water.
When confronting strength and hardness, nothing can overcome it.
Using nothing simplifies.
Using water overcomes hardness.
Using weakness overcomes strength.
Tao Te Ching (80:1-2)
Sarina Stone is a Certified Universal Healing Tao Instructor many times over. She began studying Taoist Meditation under the direct supervision of Taoist Master, Mantak Chia in 1990. After certifying as a massage therapist in 1994, she began combining meditation, bodywork, and nutrition while teaching and treating students around the world. Her light-hearted, open approach to the Taoist practices has made her a Universal Healing Tao and media favorite internationally.
Miss Stone currently teaches Medical Chi Kung in workshop and retreat formats, and is available for University lectures, television and radio interviews.